I first started writing songs in my teenage years as a creative outlet. Although I never wanted to be an artist, I loved to play guitar and piano and ended up writing about an album's worth of material before leaving Prior’s Field. After being encouraged to play gigs I struggled being in the spotlight - anxiety got the better of me and I didn’t feel comfortable being on stage. I look back and in hindsight, it was a lot for me to take on at such a young age but now I have been able to revisit these songs. The lyrics still resonate with me, but having grown and developed as a woman I have found a sound that represents this stage in my life.
My music has been heavily influenced by my late Dad’s record collection of 80s new-wave and synth-pop like Japan, Ultravox and New Order as well as my Mum’s favourites; The Police and The Waterboys. I got into music in the midst of 2010s indie-boom of Wolf Alice, Swim Deep and Jaws and more recently have been listening to artists like Clairo, Uchu Nekoko and Caroline Polachek. Having been working in a small studio, I have finally recorded the songs as I imagined them to be, years ago, and I am so excited to share them.
I think at the time of writing Twisted Puzzle, like a lot of young girls, my self-worth was based on what other people thought of me and that combined with having a lot of empathy can be quite detrimental. I would put everything into a friendship/relationship and get little back. So this song is just an example of one of those one-way relationships. The lyrics show that I spent quite a lot of my time believing that I wasn’t good enough, and when people treat you badly they are essentially just validating this and it’s a really difficult cycle to get out of. That last lyric is me breaking free. It’s quite a melancholy song and I feel sorry for my 16-year-old self, but it is subjective!
Writing music, for me, is just the same as writing a poem; write down all your feelings and thoughts and try to make them sound pretty.
Twisted Puzzle is available on all major streaming platforms:
Soundcloud: Char Goodfellow's stream
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